The Source

It's almost Christmas!

The past few days have been filled with shopping, shopping, and more shopping. Why? For presents, presents, presents of course!

We enjoy buying gifts for the ones we love, and let's all be honest, we love receiving gifts too. We delight in seeing the eyes of a young child light up as he or she opens up colorfully wrapped boxes on Christmas morning.

If only the act of giving could be carried on throughout the year...
If only we could maintain that level of joy and excitement with EVERY gift we are given, regardless if it's wrapped in a bow or not...

Happiness is something that comes from within. It cannot be found outside of yourself. I have always found this concept to be very interesting.

For example, the sun would have no warmth without your skin. YOU are the creator of warmth within yourself (thanks to fancy receptors in your skin, of course). A flower would have no scent, unless you were there to smell it. YOU are the creator of the smell within yourself.

Both the sun and the flower, in this example, are not separate entities; they combine into one being through the actions and observations in the PRESENT moment. Present...get it? Gift? Ho ho ho

So be in the present...always, and be thankful for everything because everything truly is a gift from the divine...

...or it could be a gift from Oprah.

A Wrinkle in Time

...I heart that book by Madeleine L'engle, but this entry isn't really about time travel and tesseracts...I think?

Last night I was reading a book that brought up the topic of Jyotish. It's basically Indian/Hindu astrology. Pulling it up on wikipedia reveals a whole mess of stuff that I'll probably never understand, but the event described in the book I was reading goes beyond "normal" Jyotish.

In the book, the author describes how a friend of his had tracked down a Hindi monk that happened to have the author's Jyotish scroll.

According to the book, these scrolls were written hundreds of years ago. They were writings that described the life of a person that would be born at a specific point in time. Many of these writings were lost and are scattered throughout the world. The real kicker is, these ancient seers didn't write a scroll for everyone that would ever be born. They only wrote them for the people they KNEW would seek these scrolls out.

The author's scroll was so exact it predicted his father and mother's names, the name of his children...even the day he would die.

Shivers ran up my spine as the list of accuracies went on and on.

But the ability to see the future is not so strange to these ancient mystics. They believed we are all connected--one universe. They were simply adept enough to tap in to a small pattern in the tapestry of time and see a future self that was also a part of them.

It's sort of like life is one huge fractal. I am a part of you, and you are a part of me. We really aren't that different...only different forms of the same type of energy.

The Gift of Release

Three days ago, I started a 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. It's the first book by Debbie Ford that I've read, and I thoroughly enjoy her method of bringing light to one's inner light.

The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse is, in my opinion, a revolutionary DIY manual to greater awareness. Covering the past, present, and future, Ford brings to light a new gift for each day of the week for three weeks. These gifts allow one to access the hidden obstacles of the psyche, "cleansing rituals" to overcome those barriers, and ultimately a better understanding of who we are.

Each day begins with a morning practice. The reader is required to describe the state of one's emotional, spiritual, or physical flame. The reader sets an intentions for the day, how they will achieve that intention, and create their own healing mantra that they must repeat throughout the day.

Following this morning practice is a "cleansing ritual," which is usually some form of a journal activity.

Today's (Day 3) ritual, for instance, was about the Gift of Release. I was required to acknowledge all of the toxic events of my past, how they made me feel, physically manifest them into a drawing, and ultimately destroy that physical manifestation by burning it and offering a prayer to God, letting go of those toxicities and using those past events as fuel for a greater future.

I find this entire process to be extremely helpful and quite fun! It's one thing to read a book, but to actively participate in the process through these simple exercises is enthralling and unique to this genre.

I still have 18 days to go, and I look forward to learning more about myself and sharing what I learn with you. ^_^

New Beginnings and Endings

Today is a both a day for celebration and a day of great sadness for me.

Yesterday was my last day of classes for this semester. As of now, I've passed all of my classes, and I am quite happy with my grades. I'm just waiting for one more grade to be posted.

Sadly, on the heels of this semester's end comes the news of a dear friend and classmate's passing.

He was on his way home to his family when he and a friend were involved in a tragic car accident. The other passenger survived, but it was too late for my friend. Details of exactly what happened remain unclear at this time.

I wasn't necessarily close friends with this person, but I knew him fairly well. He was always kind and had a smile on his face. He would always ask how I was doing every time he saw me.

The news of his passing was shocking and hard for me to believe. Even as I type this, my hands are still shaking.

This event only reminded me how quickly everything can change in an instant. Our time on this earth limited, and we need to live each moment in appreciation for the people in our lives.

I still don't want to believe that our friend is gone. He was such a bright light in our lives, but I know that his light will shine on.

Doubt

It's been a long while since I've posted.

Preparing for the gauntlet of tests has been taking up most of my time, and with that, I feel as though I've lost sight of many things.

Take a look at what I call the "chalkboard of my life." For one week, I would write down random words, phrases, events, and images that would pop into my head. Such documentation is only a fraction of the thoughts and ideas our brain processes every day! But I'll save talk of this for another entry...




I was asked an interesting question yesterday. "What do you need to give up in order to experience peace?"

From the above image, my mind seems to be anything but peaceful. Not surprisingly, the common thread among many of those scribbles involves things that are school related.

That gave rise to numerous questions... Would I really be willing to give up school in exchange for peace? Would that solve the problem, or only create more problems? Would I be quitting just because it's challenging? What are the pros and cons of such a decision? Is there an alternative?

At many points in our life, I believe we doubt ourselves and our abilities. We wonder if we are on the right path, if we are making an impact in society.

It is my opinion that a certain level of doubt is actually quite healthy. It shows that we are thinking; we are conscious of the changes that are occurring in our mind and in our lives. Doubt shows a willingness to observe a possible change of course in action. It is a sign that we are human.

"Aim with your heart, adjust with your head, and always, always, always, do all you can."

Regardless of the situation, peace is always just a breath away.

Time to wipe the slate clean.

Vodka

K...this post isn't really about vodka, but it is about alcohol...sort of.

Recently, I've been getting a lot of questions about my choice not to drink alcohol. I was never a heavy drinker or anything, but now people give me a funny look when I say, "I don't drink."

"Why?" is always the question that follows. It's simply a personal choice. I have nothing against people that drink; it's just something I choose not to do.

People are often confused or offended as though I'm doing this to "prove" that I'm above them or drinking. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Yogi Cameron and I share the same view that "Physically, mentally and spiritually there is no part of alcohol (fermented fruits and vegetables) that the body can use or wants."

If there is no benefit to drinking, then why drink? Some do it for the "buzz"--that temporary high or a relief from anxiety.

Personally, I would rather work through anxiety issues in a clear state of mind. Alcohol may be a temporary fix, but if you can work on yourself without relying on external substances, you free yourself from that reliance. You become stronger and are able to face difficult situations knowing that the ability to do so resides within your own being!

TRUST ME!!! No matter how much you drink, sorrows will never drown. It takes something much greater than alcohol to do that.

So, I think alcohol is fine, as long as we don't abuse it. I don't think you have to drink a lot in order to abuse alcohol; simply using it for the wrong reasons is bad enough, so pay attention to your motives. ;)

Mazel Tov

Bleepity-do-dah

I just finished watching What the Bleep Do We Know?

It's been over three years since I've last seen it, and my opinions have really changed.

It was also strange how I began noticing things in the film that I had never noticed before, things that now correspond to what I believe to be "true".

At some points during the film, I feel as though the science was being stretched a bit, but I do believe the overall message they were trying to present is ultimately true.

The universe is teeming with infinite possibilities, and it is up to us to choose and "collapse reality" on to one event.

For example, I have grown as a person over the past few years. I know more, my way of thinking has changed; ultimately, my own paradigm or the way I view the world has shifted. Because of this shift in state of mind, I "see what I want to see." My reality has collapsed in such a way that what I want most in my life is able to manifest itself.

Sounds a lot like The Secret mumbo-jumbo, right?

I don't necessarily believe we can manifest things like money, love, or our dream homes simply by thinking about them. It takes much more work than that.

As mentioned in What the Bleep, our body releases hormones. Our bodies naturally crave a state of homeostasis; it doesn't like to be in discomfort. As a result, our body releases peptides and chemicals that make us feel good. These peptides bind to receptors. In some cases, they bind to the same receptors that heroin binds to. So like a drug addict addicted to drugs, we too can become addicted to emotions, whether they be positive or negative emotions.

From experience, I've found that is important to catch ourselves when negative thoughts begin to arise. If we actively change the way we think, our brain will begin to literally rewire itself. Over time, we become accustomed to seeing the positive rather than always seeing the negative. We see things that were always right in front of us, but we were never able to notice them before because our way of thinking was limiting our vision.

Happiness is something that is cultivated from within, not something that inherently exists.

You are Amazing!

Lately I've been feeling as though every day is Christmas. Every day is a gift, and every day we get another opportunity to give to others.

Simply sitting back and observing the beauty of the moment, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of awe and amazement at how perfect everything actually is.

I can be doing nothing, sitting in my chair, staring at the same blank wall in my apartment that I've stared at for months, when all of a sudden I'm hit with awareness--awareness that something as mundane as the white paper bag that I got my lunch in holds the beauty of the entire universe.

There are moments when I feel as though I could break down into tears. How grateful I feel for such an amazing sight! I know it seems silly and pretty funny that I could be moved by what many people consider to be garbage, but I can't help but feel thankful when these moments arise.

It is a realization, a gift from the Universe.

If such power and grace can exist in "trash", just imagine the magnitude of being that resides within you!

You are a miracle.

The Universe Speaks!

Today was the first day of my P2 year in pharmacy school.

I began my day by checking my inbox, but instead of finding the usual junk emails and facebook notifications, I was surprised to find a message from the Universe.

Shocking, isn't it? A message from the Universe.

This is what the Universe had to say:

Kelly, I know what it's like. I've seen it played out a few zillion times. You're waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they'll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they'll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

Well, I'm here to tell you, Kelly, your wait is over. That someone, is you.

Good thing you rock,
The Universe

So often we feel as though we are lost in the crowd, that people don't always seem to recognize the effort and energy we put into our actions. It is common to feel inadequate about ourselves as many of us crave outside circumstances to be a source of happiness. As much as this message is for me, it is also for YOU!

Be ever mindful of the gifts that the Universe brings to you each and every day. It may be something as simple as a relaxing breath, dinner with a good friend, a sunny day, etc. All of these are simple reminders of the greatness that resides in all of us, we simply have to be aware of it.

I will keep this in mind during the difficulties of the upcoming semester, for even challenges are a gift from the Universe. They are an opportunity to grow and learn more about ourselves, and they serve a greater purpose on our journey of life, whether we are aware of that purpose or not.

Feel the Love!

Hugs are one of the greatest miracles in life! Think about it...is it ever possible to give a hug without receiving one?

Normally, hugs are used as a greeting or a sign to show our love or compassion for one another. Just like a hug, when we send out love, we also receive it.

When we perform acts of giving and kindness for our fellow human beings, we can't help but feel good about ourselves.

In essence, we are all derived from One source, be that source God, the universe, etc; therefore, when we love one another, we are actually loving ourselves.

At the end of yoga, we always say, "Namaste." The word Namaste is usually roughly translated to mean "The light within me honors the light within you."

Check out the Free Hugs Campaign website for an awesome video and the story of how the campaign first began.

Sometimes the simplest of actions can have the biggest impact in a person's life.

Namaste friends. :)

Seeing the Beauty in All

Yesterday, I went on a trip to Avery Island's Jungle Gardens here in Louisiana. It's only about an hour from where I live at the moment, and I had plans of seeing the estimated 1000 year old Buddha statue that resides in the small meditation garden located there.

For me, the Buddha and his teachings have been a source of wisdom and compassion. I felt it would be inspiring to see a statue built in honor of this great teacher.

Words cannot express the power of living one day in awareness and tranquility. The greatest lesson I learned from my experience, however, is that I never need to travel far to be inspired by such beauty.

I always felt I would have to travel to Tibet to experience the "true presence" of the Buddha. Then I was told that a Buddha statue resided not far from where I lived, and I thought, "How wonderful! I don't have to buy an expensive plane ticket and fly halfway around the world to at least get a glimpse of enlightenment." But after my experience, I was reminded of the simple truth: one never has to travel far to experience true beauty and enlightenment. You, yourself, are an internal source of inspiration.

Inspired by the experience, I wrote this simple poem:

I met the Buddha.

He did not speak,
Yet he shared his wisdom with me.
Quietly seated in meditation,
Gazing across the placid lagoon,
The simplicity of the entire universe,
Revealed in a single moment.
The bamboo, trees, and plants,
The birds, alligators, and insects,
The Buddha was in them all.
The source of Self,
Wisdom and Compassion,
Abides in all beings.
And for an instant,
I was awake.


Here is a video that I put together along with some pictures.

Lego My Ego

Last night, I randomly happened to come across information regarding Self-referral and Object-referral.

We often define ourselves by things that are outside of us: I am a student. I have many friends. I am rich. I am tired. I went to the store. I bought some eggs. In all of these examples, the "I" is being defined by external circumstances. This is object-referral.

It becomes difficult when we solely operate from this perspective because we seek constant approval from others. We are always anticipating a response to situations, circumstances, people, and things.

I acknowledge that one of my greatest flaws is letting my own ego get the best of me, feeling an intense need to control things.

The ego becomes an internal reference point, but the ego is not who we truly are. The ego is a self-image or a social mask, and it thrives on approval because it lives in fear of rejection.

The true Self is free of these things.

Money, friends, power, etc. all bring us a temporary joy or high, but this will only last as long as those objects are around.

Self-power is permanent because it is knowledge of the Self.

Everything around you is in a state of decay, even your own body. Life is transient, and we will all one day lose many of the physical things we cherish. Therefore, we should take time to cultivate our awareness of the Self, our Soul, for that is the source of permanent contentment.

Medi(c/t)ation

I meditate therefore I medicate? Sort of...

In the past, some doctors may have prescribe meditation as a means of reducing a patient's stress or anxiety levels, but now scientists are beginning to better understand exactly what goes on in the brain of a person while he or she meditates.

"[Andrew Newberg] has found that those who meditate have increased activity in the frontal lobe -- the part of the brain involved in concentration -- and decreased activity in the parietal lobe — the area of the brain that is related to sensory information and helps us form our sense of self."

People who meditate often describe a feeling of oneness with the universe and their surroundings. Could this possibly be related to the decreased activity in the parietal lobe?

I have been practicing traditional Buddhist techniques for meditation and concentration, and I always come from the experience feeling more energized and at peace. Often times during deep meditative states, we focus our concentration on our breath and ask ourselves who is the "I" experiencing the experience of the present moment. With practice, it becomes easier to let go of our worries and enjoy simply being alive in the infinite moment that is "now."

Not only can meditation/prayer affect our outlook on life or our emotional well being, it can also have physical healing affects as in the case of Sheri Kaplan who has had HIV for the past 15 years and "has never taken medicine, yet the disease has not progressed to AIDS (and she is not part of the population that has a mutation in the CCR5 gene that prevents progression of HIV to AIDS)"

Kaplan explains it's her faith in God that has granted her this unique ability, but one does not necessarily have to believe in God to experience such benefits. Whether it is God that created the brain or the brain that created God, prayer and meditation seem beneficial to the practitioner.

I found this website to be extremely informative, and it is also where I got most of my information for this entry.

Here are some guided meditations which I enjoy. I recommend starting with Prana, and once you have mastered focusing on the breath, you can move on to the others.

ADD

Attention Deficit Disorder...is it possible to escape?

I feel like the older I get, the more ADD I become. Thoughts, hopes, desires, the media, the past, the future, teachers, bosses, parents, friends, activities and events...all of these things vying for our attention. How is it possible to keep up with it all!?

One of my worst habits is scarfing down food. I can eat four orders of sushi in under 10 minutes! Well...I actually haven't timed myself, and I don't particularly care to try that experiment. Point is...I do eat fast.

I think we tend to do many things at a fast pace so we can hurry up and get to the next 'event' looming over us. As a result, we're often cruising through life on autopilot, mindlessly existing through one event until we get to the next.

It is important to take time to enjoy where we are...here and now. Take time, and appreciate the flavor of your food. Recognize the hardness of the ground with every step you take. Acknowledge the sensations of inhaling and exhaling and simply being alive!

All is beautiful when we take time to appreciate it with awareness.

Eye Sea Ewe

How do you perceive the world? How do you perceive different situations?

I was with a friend recently who had had a pretty rough day at work. He went on and on about how his boss is always in a bad mood and cussing everyone out. The more he expressed every wrong doing of his boss, the more frustrated and angry he became.

I don't necessarily agree with the way the boss treats people, according to my friend, but I tried explaining to my friend that maybe there is an underlying reason for her attitude. Everyone has a history, and many times we don't give thought to the personal lives someone may experience outside our realm of interaction with them. Rather than focusing on these negative events, I thought it would be more beneficial to develop an understanding for his boss' actions.

My friend eventually came to find out that his boss was going through a pretty difficult time, and while she may be in a bad mood from time to time, my friend now has a better understanding and level of tolerance for his boss.

Rather than simply believing someone is a bad person, we should try to look deeper for the true reason a person acts the way that they do. It has always been my belief that there are no bad people on this planet; there are only bad actions that may be committed by a person.

This ability to look deeper into the true nature of things is not limited to people. Take time to find the true source of being in all things. You may be surprised to find that things are as different as they seem.

By the Pond

I began reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau a couple of days ago. I had gotten the book when I was in the 8th grade for a research project about Thoreau's life. We didn't have to read the book, and I didn't bother to.

However, I wanted something to read, and it seemed to perfectly fit with present circumstances in my life.

One line that caught my interest was, "What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate."

How often do we think to ourselves that we are incapable of doing something?

I know someone in my life that when presented with a challenge, the first words out of his mouth are "I fail." I know he's just trying to be funny, but at the same time, I believe that he also believes he'll fail at the challenge ahead of him.

If you believe that you're a failure, you're doomed to fail before you even begin.

Society also has a way of telling us what to believe about ourselves. Advertisements are meant to sell us dreams...not items. We buy into the dream and believe we become something else. If you define yourself by what you own, then you will not find happiness in life.

And if you only look at what you don't have, you will miss everything that you do have!

Sure, our peers can play a part in all of this too. Positive affirmations from them are always helpful, but sometimes, we are met with criticism that can be very hurtful.

How do you perceive yourself?

KNOW that you are great, and you will become it.

Crimes of the Heart

I went see a play last night called Crimes of the Heart.

It was mainly about three girls growing up and finally having to face the difficulties in their lives. Rather than just giving in and believing that they can't go on, they all manage to find a way through the hard times that their family is experiencing.

Many times in our own lives, we often feel that we can't go on. We believe that there is no way of overcoming the emotional hurt or betrayal we experience deep within our hearts and minds.

But eventually, time passes, and we learn to cope with our pain and eventually overcome it.

The key is to accept the difficulties in our lives with love and compassion. All things are transient, including both joy and suffering.

No matter how hard we try to hold on to pleasant experiences or push the bad ones away, they all begin to fade with time.

If we are willing to acknowledge our sadness and then let it go, the hurt we feel today will eventually diminish.

During difficult moments, we can always remember the joy we've experienced in the past and know that the future holds just as much joy and love for all of us.

Thoughts on Beauty

It's been a while since I've actually posted anything on here, so I decided to take an excerpt from my real life journal.

This entry stems from the fact that many of us are influenced by what we see. However, the way we perceive things is not always the way objects truly exist.

We may think to ourselves, "He has the perfect body," or, "Her skin is flawless."

The truth is, in the physical sense, nothing is ever perfect or imperfect. Each and every living being is beautiful in its own unique way.

My goal is to begin to recognize the beauty that exists within all beings and objects.

I believe we set ourselves up for this way of thinking--the duality of beauty; "this is beautiful, and this is not as beautiful."

We may define one object as being beautiful, and when being compared to a similar yet different object, we automatically declare one superior over the other.

In actuality, the fact that we perceive these objects as being different results in an illusion that prevents us from seeing the true beauty existing in all things.

For there is no inherent existence. All things arise from another, dependently existing on all objects and beings within the universe.

Here's a way you can practice seeing the beauty in all things:

Take a piece of paper. Look at the paper. Is white? Does it have lines on it? Is it a certain color?

What else do you see?

Maybe you'll begin to see a tree from which the paper was made. Deeper and you may be able to see an entire forest. Even deeper and you'll begin to see energy from the sun giving life to the tree from which the paper came. Therefore, in essence, you are holding the energy of the sun in your hands when you hold that piece of paper. To me...this is beautiful.

Practice.

Can you see clouds in the paper?

Can you see the entire universe?

What do you see when you look in the mirror?